#32: The Rest of The Iceburg

The metaphor of the ice burg is simple.

Not everything is what it appears to be, there is more than what meets the eye.

In life, in love, in friendships, in families – and in ourselves.

There is so much more than what meets the eye. Unfortunately, many of peoples biases, judgements, and so forth come from seeing the tip of the ice burg. I’m guilty of it, you’re guilty of it – we’re all guilty of it.

The tip of the ice burg is what we catch at face value, what we see and think we know. What we think we know and think we understand. But the remainder, which is always much larger and deeper – is the part no one ever sees, but provides all the answers, all the details you missed.

How many times do you sit looking at your phone, mindlessly scrolling on social media or walking down the street, or driving your car, or at a party or bar and you think to yourself

“I know who that is” or

“go figure they would be the one…”

or “that makes sense, have you seen who they hangout with?”

or my favorite one – “did you hear what happened with them?”

It blows my mind, honestly. Just how much we all think we know.

Personally, I’ve never been a very judgmental person. I make my general judgements about everything like anyone else, but not much more. You can truly do, say, act, walk, talk, however you want in front of me and I think you would be amazed at how much I under-react or respond because I really see no need to make criticisms or comment on the lives of others when I’m busy enough with my own. Its stupid. In my opinion, having opinions on others is a waste. What does my opinion do and what does my opinion say about me, rather than you? At face value – we’re all an act. No one knows what is beneath your ice burg, and to be honest, very few deserve to.

For a really long time, I would get caught up in what others thought of me. Which is weird because I used to really not give a fuck. All of a sudden I was very paranoid and very untrusting of sharing my thoughts, feelings, etc. because I just didn’t really know what anyone would make of it. Often times, I found myself over-sharing, over-explaining, over-justifying my life because I felt like if I could show the real people would suddenly understand.

Truth is, I could probably name all the people who I really think know me on one hand and thats a fairly good thing. Even though I share so much about myself and my life on this thing, I realize it still barely touches the surface. No one really knows anyones unconscious, or anyones intentions, we’re just sitting around trying to figure that out and it’s important to consider.

I think that’s why I love social work so much. Social work makes you think about everything effecting someone. From the thoughts in their mind, the people in their world, the places they’ve been and the life they’ve been served. You don’t catch that at the surface of people, you barely get that when you’re treading around the ice burg.

You only get it when you take a real dive.

So the point I’m trying to make is not to judge so quickly. You can sit there and think you know everything about someone or something and why they are the way they are, but you can sit there and also try and say the same for yourself and realize how unfair that would be. The ice burg doesn’t need to be seen by all, no one owes you an explanation and you don’t owe anyone else one either. But if you choose to let someone deep, make sure they deserve that part of you, too.




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