I think it’s all a load of BS when people claim that life isn’t in their control and shit just happens to them.
I’m not going to say that shit doesn’t happen – I’ll be the absolute first to tell you that it definitely does. But I’m not one for pity parties and maybe I’m a bit insensitive to this because I feel like at 22 I’ve had to grow up faster than a lot of people and didn’t have the option of the easy way out.
I share a lot about my life, it’s my way of working through my thoughts and keeping my moods balanced. But there’s definitely things I’ll probably never share on here because they are the perfect example of shit happens and sometimes that stuff hits way too close to home.
But I will say that I believe there is nothing more in our control than the way we accept our lives and mold them to be our own, regardless of the events that happen. But that idea wasn’t always so easy for me to grasp, either.
I used to fall into depressions where I was helpless. It was so hard to get out. And then I came across a quote that made me think a little different.
Charles R. Swindoll once said that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. I really love that. Even if it’s bullshit, my perception changed – I’ll take it. I think reaction can by synonymous with energy here. I think that our energy, what feelings, mindsets and thoughts we put out into the universe, are exactly what come back to us.
So no, I don’t think you can control getting fired, or a death, or someone breaking up with you or getting an incurable disease, but I do believe that what you do with what you get and the attitudes and energy you put out control how you manage what happens to your life because of it.
You can sit there and say the world is against you because work didn’t work out for you, or you can say – I learned something. With what you learned you can use that knowledge you didn’t have before to move ahead and apply those learnings to the next hurdle that comes your way.
You could also sit there and say that love sucks and relationships are a waste of time over a bad break-up. Or you can sit there and reflect on what went wrong and improve your outlook and yourself for what’s to come. I don’t think that bad-mouthing or remaining negative will get you anything but negative attention and an overall bad reputation if you’re not careful with your words and actions.
I think in both cases if you show positivity and acceptance, you’ll make room for something just as positive to take the place of that experience. Whether its another opportunity in your life or another relationship. People who attract people are the ones who appear content in their shoes, and confident in their being.
Losing people is hard. I lost my grandfather when I was 19 and it felt like the world was crumbling down because of how close we were. But the thing no one wants to say at the time is that not moving forward never brings them back.
I guess this goes for any situation of losing someone whether literally because of death or in a friendship or relationship. Not moving forward, not making peace and feeling like this was an attack on you and “what did I do to deserve this” is just another way to keep closure from happening. Energy is important and the people around you can feel it.
But turning around and saying I’m going to do this, and I’m going to be this person in spite of what’s happened is one way to beat the fight.
Have you ever met someone who is just hard to be around? It’s like everything they say you’re just prepared for the negativity to come out, or everything they do has a motive that makes you wonder about what’s making them so unhappy or unsettled that they feel the need to put that onto you. These are the people who don’t get this. They think the more they announce negativity into the universe and everyday life the more they’re fighting it.
Again, I’m no life coach, I’m no one special to declare that something works but I’ve been around the block. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve fallen and gotten up. And the only thing that helped me every time was me. Not my friends and family, although their support was helpful – but me.
I’m going to quote MLK Jr here and say darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Be the light in your darkness. Drive out the negativity with positive thoughts, attitudes, words and assumptions. The only thing you can lose is whatever’s been holding you back to begin with.